btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
