you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
