Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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