hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
