some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
