Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
