I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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