You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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