you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
