Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
