the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
