New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
