I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
