Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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