A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
