if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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