Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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