I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
