you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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