I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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