I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
