Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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