yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
