He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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