Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize