My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
be right there i have to get my cape
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize