Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
