I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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