You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
