im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
