i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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