@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
