I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
