I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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