i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
