i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
