There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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