I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
