stop calling my apartment porn island.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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