sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There's even glitter on my cock...
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