That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
