Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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