does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
