$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
