The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
