Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize