Pappa wants mamma naked
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
