i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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