i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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