my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
