So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
