Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
