so that wasnt chicken after all
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
These tits shall not be calmed
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
