this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
