He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize