What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
