I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
