My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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