hell yes lets make some ravioli
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
