i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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