Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
