You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
