Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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