What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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