I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
