OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I still have a little drunk in my system
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize