Already got asked if we're dating
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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